Ephemeral Poems:
As Any Mother Would
The Box
Cut Me Up
Final Credits
Little Yellow Ducky
Moonlight Kite
Part of Me
The Playground
Periphery
Twilight
White Rabbit
As Any Mother Would
I tried not to damage you
To take away your glow
The purity rising up
From your beautiful soul
I tried to shelter you
To take away your pain
The rain pouring down
Into each and everything
I tried to keep you
To hold you close to me
Just for my own needs
Just to do what I please
I tried to love you
As long as I could
As much as I should
As any mother would
I tried not to forget you
Even when you left me
You were so beautiful
But I had to set you free
The Box
Saturate, separate
Ideas and thoughts pieces to the clandestine key
Words that alienate
Not designed to instigate
Not written to please
Is it a crime to be blunt outside?
Ripping, tearing at the cracks
Existing without color inside
Immersed in blacks
Stuff us in this little box
Because we won’t sing along
We’ll never belong
We look out from a place you can’t see
No-one here for company
But the shadows and sadness with us
Waiting to be freed
Are we the light when all is gone
The faith that right can become wrong
An onyx flame engulfing all
As a song trumpets a battle call
Leading to the fall
Are we the ones you want to fear
What makes us something to hate
Open up the box
To quickly peer inside
Releasing those within who hide:
Death, hope and disease
Cut Me Up
I’ve given up on you for all time
Your little group–you and your friends
I don’t belong; I don’t fit in
I’ve given up on being the one
Who another person could love
I’m never right; I live in night
I’ve given every thought and each dream
Wasted on hopes I will not see
I can’t survive; I can’t believe
I’ve given every feeling for bliss
Loving you, needing your kiss
I’ll not get it; I long to scream
I’ve given, given with only pain
Vainly returned just to be hurt
I want to hate; I want to curse
I’ve given myself to this despair
Go, I really no longer care
I feel nothing; I’ve gone insane
You’ve taken and taken, then you leave
Forsaken, you hope I’ll disappear
I was miserable with you here
I’m still alive somehow, not dead yet
I won’t cry now, you don’t deserve it
I won’t ever let you see me grieve
I will never let you see me bleed
Final Credits
mixed and tumbled
jumbled
semi-coherent
unapparent
yet inherent
lacking spirit
fake smiles
phony happiness
bitter
cutting
self destructing
not here
never found
inside out
gagged and bound
gone forever
tasteless but tasting
wasting, wasting, wasting
sick and sad
pitiful, with no pity
to be found
sinful without sinning
prideful
hiding all
by telling nothing
that’s important
picture frames
empty, absent
gathering dust
boxes filled with stuff
unused, rusted
why continue?
dull, droning, dull
drawing on and on
just waiting for
the final song
while the credits roll
Little Yellow Ducky
Little yellow duck strutting along
Quacking your song as you trot
Not a thought in your mind
Beside finding a bug
A tasty slug
To eat
Silly duck, you are without worry
No sorrow, no cares of tomorrow
Just a bit hungry, but that’s it
What if you get sick?
You are far from home, alone
It’s cold
Cute, tiny ducky, so very lucky
To have made it this far on the road
You don’t even know the danger
Should a stranger notice you
Someone who isn’t too keen
With you being happy
Little yellow duck plodding along
Still singing a ditty as you spot
A grub in a sidewalk crack
A tasty snack to munch on
Snap, you grab it up
To fill your belly
Smelly, slimy grub slithering by
You were just out for the day
When a big yellow thing appeared
Snatched you into the air
Now, you’ve disappeared
Like you were never
Even here
Moonlight Kite
I run with the kite in the field
All the stars shining brightly
The clear, moon-filled sky’s expanse stretches wide
String trailing behind me
The kite lifts as I tug and pull
A sharp jerk, I don’t let it go
Now, it’s soaring high
I let out more cord as it sails
Above the ground, a sky ship
Colorful in day, by night delicate
Muted greys swerve and dip
Yellow tails flutter from the bow
As I slowly release more rope
How far can it fly?
Morning star on the horizon
Near where the sun will be rising
Dawn will soon arrive
I remove small silver scissors
Which glint in the twilight
Setting the spool of coil onto the ground
I look at the kite
Kneeling down on my knees
I snip the rope and release
“Lord, send my prayers to him please”
The kite, now free, rushes away
My letter tied up with it sways
With all of my hopes
Every single word I could say
I lay my head down on cool grass
To find peace at last
Part of Me
The children are jumping rope here
Each skip on the sidewalk a heartbeat
A small girl drawing lines in chalk
Others play hide and seek
Soon our recess will be over
The bell will ring, we’ll go back in
For another lesson to learn
We’ll dream at the window
For summer’s return
Time suspends in this instant
The loss of the innocent
A child falls down and gasps
The rest crowd around to stare
Teachers unaware
“Are you okay, what’s the matter?”
Pale, the boy’s hand grasps mine
I peer into his sad blue eyes
Confused, I don’t understand in time
Silently I simply stand, see
Watch it all; part of me
Never to forget
Time must move onward, forward
Toward the mundane and plain
Memories in childhood
Bitter splashes on each page
So part of us all
Such pains in our past we recall
We grow up this way
The Playground
On the playground swing, feet in the air
She’s humming softly, flowing black hair
No other children play here today
Almost dark as the sky’s color fades away
It’s been a long day, too long, scary
No friends besides imaginary
To tell her secrets to
Why can’t she just stay here forever
Floating on the wind, doing whatever
Without pain, without fear
Her head feels heavy
Singing with eyes closed, sway back, sway forth
She wants to sleep here, but can’t of course
Where can she go when she can’t go home
When she’s sad and lonely and wholly alone
It’s been the worst day of her short life
Worse than nightmares or screaming each night
What more can she do now
Who can she turn to without any friend
No-one to help her, just lies, pretend
All empty in the end
She wishes she were a princess
She wishes she were a goddess
(but she does know she can’t ever be one)
She wishes she were an actress
(but she knows she won’t be pretty enough)
She wishes she weren’t even here
It’s been a long day, too long, scary
No friends besides imaginary
Who can listen to her
Hear the thoughts she hides from the rest
Comfort with words of light, happiness
Help her create stories
Help her create stories
Help her escape
Periphery
I
As I listen to the night
In silence, in calm
Worries of the day pass away
Lights fade as I slip into shade
On the edge of my mind
Softly take my hand
Freedom is on our lips
Dancing in the moonlight
Amongst the embers
Rainbows glitter in the day
What gentle light waves
Exist in nighttime gloom
To cascade in gentle rays
Up to the crescent moon
Fireflies and feathery moths
Colors darkened within muted tones
In the still, what a thrill
To close your eyes
To slip away
To take the final boat ride
To that final place
A final breath; a final thought
Hovering above me now
Takes its last long journey
Releasing into the air
On the periphery
Branching out, then rejoining there
II
On the edge
My mind
Periphery
Not just a state or time
I don’t know you
Even though you stare back
In my mirror
You appear there
But you are not my face
I don’t recognize you
Not a single trace
My life is gone now
I only feel an empty place
A bitter aftertaste
I’m sinking
Sometimes slowly
Other times quicker than sand
Into my dreams
In a far off land
I can’t feel myself
I don’t see you
I can’t even talk without mumbling
Incoherent
Thoughts askew
III
Who will I be
When life ends
No longer human
Suddenly a cherished
Or a departed friend
Who will I become
When thoughts are all to remain
Firing neurons stop
The heart ceasing to pump
Can a thought carry on forever
Outside the mind
Printed on a page; written online
IV
So my soul should finally leave
Like a butterfly dancing in a tree
Exiting its cocoon
To fly floating into the wind
Beautiful; free again
Then will there be light or will all be dark
The current world replaced
To what end or what waste
Will that eternal periphery of life embrace
Twilight
Calm, quiet, displaced
Gentle embers fade
Away into the stillness
Uncertain and unwilling
Within slow, slowing, chilling
as light is abating
unfolding space
Closing, singed and dazed
Each flame gone, replaced
By comfort; by harsh neglect
No life left just circumspect
Discarded, dead reflections
majestic, separate
imperfections
An incantation
As we disappear
Bring back the life to us here
Lift up our souls so we see
Another dawn, please set us free
twilight shadows echo
captivity
All is lost, lost and forlorn
Knowing this, we still move on
A band of nomads
Misfits, miscreants
Wandering amidst the mist
locked into this time, stopped
we must exist
White Rabbit
I spied a white rabbit, pure as the snow
Running through the field
Running through the grass
Stopping a moment to lift his head into the air
Sniffing the breeze
I spied a white rabbit and loved him at once
His fur looked so soft and fluffy
He was beautiful, lovely
I wanted to pick him up
To take him home to hug
I spied a white rabbit and snuck up on him
Quietly tiptoeing without a sound
Slowly going one step at a time
So I could grab him and make him mine
Before he scooted off, terrified
I spied a white rabbit, but he didn’t see me
He didn’t know I even existed
He didn’t suspect I was waiting nearby
To scoop him into my arms
Leaving his world far behind
I spied a white rabbit and oh how I tried
To make him my pet
To take the wild creature and tame it
When I touched his fur, though, he bit
His sharp teeth aren’t nearly so cute
I guess (now he’s dead), I’ll be having rabbit soup